Dogs are Vicious Beasts

I've always hated dogs. They're just creatures that have disturbed me since the begining of my existence. I despise them, and they totally freak me out. If they weren't so ferocious I would be responsible for killing like 50 of those animals by now. They are truly animals that shouldn't be allowed to live on this earth. They are horrid. But anyway, I've hated them for as long as I can remember, and today's experience only made me want to round up all the dogs in the world and throw them in a pit of flaming razers, and then dip them in salt water and watch them die a slow and painful death. You probably think I'm cruel, yes, but wait until you hear the tale of a terrible beast about the size of a watermelon.

For the past 15 years of my life, I have made it a habit to avoid and even run from any dogs that cross my path. I just can't stand their disgusting licking tounges when they pretend to like you, when really they're probably thinking,"Hmm...I'd better get a quick lick of this meal before I decided to dig in!". I hate their wagging tails and ugly faces and claws and barks (ohh, I've wanted to club so many dogs that just wouldn't shut up), and how their owners treat them like innocent babies. Ok, so maybe not all dogs are entirely evil, because I have met some dogs that the devil has loosened his grip on, but it's always a rare occasion. And I don't know, maybe it's just me and dogs hate me, because they seem to have their owners fooled. So my friend Amanda (bless her poor, corupted soul) has this possessed dog that looks more like an over-grown balck and white sewer rat (sorry Amanda, but I really don't like him right now). He has a spikey collar that suits him well, and little fangs, and I swear he has red eyes! I've never liked Porthos (doesn't that name just sound evil?), in fact, ever since I first met him I've hated him and tried to stay away from him and his corruptions. I always kept my distance and stayed away from him, because I swore if he ever licked me I would get tested for lice and fleas and rabies. He was full of pure evilness. Until recently when Amanda and I began walking home to her house in the afternoons for lunch. Whenever we'd go there to eat or just hang out, Porthos would actually come up to me and roll over for me to scratch his belly and pet him (oh, what a truly cunning act of evil), and appear to be innocent. Me, being the stupid dog hater that I am, fell for his act, and actually thought he was a decent animal. So today we walk home like usual, and I pet Porthos and rub his belly like usual. No problems there. Then, after school I come back over, and there the little Hitler is, all curled up on the couch like some little bunny or whatever that stupid dog thinks he is. I sit down on the edge of the couch, and he kind of comes over to me, and I pet him, like normal. Nothing happens, and I sit there for a minute or two, before I turned and pet him again. Then, for no reason in the universe, this evil possessed dog flips around and freakin' bites my hand! I was bleeding, and had that little Satan's teeth marks in my skin! I swear, if I have to have a scar from that beast for the rest of my life on my hand, I'd rather burn it off. I mean, if I was teasing him, or he didn't know me, or I was hurting him or petting him weird or scaring him, I can understand why he might get offensive. But I seriously didn't do anything to the little mongrel. I guess he just decided it was meal time. I mean, I thought Amanda fed her dog, so I'm pretty sure he didn't bite me because he was hungry. He's possessed I tell you! I hate that dog, and I will never touch that beast again for the rest of my life. If he ever dares get near me again I will kick him to high heaven, or maybe bite his paw off for no reason and see how he likes it!

The Renaissance Fair 2010

Ok, ok, so this last Saturday I went to most fun fair of the year! I'm not even just saying that to make this blog exciting - it really was a blast! The Renaissance fair is a fair held just past Ogden, Utah every year in woods off a little dirt road. Everyone dresses up as either: Royalty, maidens, lords and ladies, pirates, celtic dancers, fairies, gypsies, knights, jesters, trolls, gnomes, dwarfts, or anything else medevil or Reniassance they can think of. My friend Amanda and I dressed up as fairies, and our other friends Matthew and Mav dressed up in chain mail, and we went together. It was a blast! When you first walk in, people welcome you, talking with "ye's" and "thou's", and it's just really exciting. Following the map, you can go to the swamp, the jousting court, the petting zoo, the royalty tent, Jack Sparrow's ship, into the woods, across the moat, and many other activites. But the best of all has got to be the chain of merchants. Merchants from all over Utah, and elsewhere gather at the Reniassance fair and sell their wears and goods to the many intruiged customers. I love the merchants. There are over 100 little tented shops where you can buy almost anything you can imagine. People come there with the most random, cool stuff. I always bring like 40 bucks to spend, 'cause I know there's gonna be all sorts of cool stuff I won't be able to buy anywhere else. They sale furs of all sorts, armory like chain mail and weapons and stuff, food, the favorite being the gigantic turky drumsticks you must eat with only your two hands, jewelry such as celtic rings or gypsy earrings, hair extensions, handmade crafts made by only the best and most artistic, bags, books, costumes, beadwork, instruments, masks, dishes, glass balls, mirrors, glass spiders, horses, decorative speciaties, massages, and who knows what else. You just have to find it. Now this may all seem ordinary, but just imagine all these items all origanal and unique. I bought the most amazing things there. My first buy was an adorable celtic heart ring to go along with my dancing career. I then bought a handmade on-the-spot string bracelet custom made with my name embroidered into it with a faded rainbow. Then I got these dream catcher earrings with feathers in the middle, and last a yellow sparkly flower ring to match Amanda's. It was a total blast! We got our picture with Jack Sparrow, and I swear, he acted, looked, sounded and talked just like Johnny Depp! He was amazing! You know how Jack walks around all weird, like he's totally out of it? This guy was a pro at it! I was laughing my head off when he said,"'scuse me, love." He was the best of the best! He even had the hand actions and way to hold the gun down! HAHA. We followed him and laughed our heads off. If anyone has the chance to go next year, DO IT!!!

Epitaphs

Today I though I'd talk about epitaphs, or a summary statement of commemoration for a dead person. We had to write these for my english class while reading The Spoon River Anthology. Here's mine.

Epitaph of a Dead Memory
by Alissa Rosado P4

"At last at rest," the reverend ended,
and all dressed in black they went home
with the solid realization and frightening memory
of the dark sunken eyes and the bright scarlet throat.
Of the faded yellow hair that once had fingers ran through it,
or of the swollen, close eyelids with diamonds underneath.
Of the boney old hands that once clutched the chains of swings
with fingers that once filled the space between another's -
and on the fourth was worn a dream that never came true.
Why then, did she wear it?
The once rosy pink cheeks were now bleached an icy winter white,
with the lips painted as red as fresh blood for the services.
The ears that once held dainty daisies behind them could no longer
listen to the sounds of happiness and love,
or have a phone pressed against them, listening to
the voice of a lover
until the star silently slide behind the clouds like ghosts.
But this night was indeed different, no stars out tonight -
just the endless black hole that served as the pit
for the beautiful broken memory,
now forever dead and gone.

I thought it was pretty good, hehe. I really enjoyed writing these, because you are telling a person's life story in a creative, and kind of indirect way. You can just give hints or clues about what happened in their life, and leave the rest up to the reader, or connect two or more epitaphs. That's what I found really intruiging about the Spoon River Anthology. There was up to like 7 epitaphs that were all connected or centered around one event, each epitaph giving a different angle to the situation, telling another side to the story. We also had the chance to play the Spoon River Anthology game in the computer lab. It was very much connect to the book, but you had to walk around, solve mysteries and set souls at rest so they could move on to the next life. It was kind of funny and weird, but everyone seemed to like it even though it was a little cooky. Haha. We had to mount our epitaphs onto a gravestone that kind of connected to our epitaph, and I made mine into the shape of a star, since the name of my person was Lucinda R. Star, and stars were also mensioned in the epitaph.

Now, I hate to point fingers, but I just had to share this, since it left my laughing my head of for about 15 minutes straight. My "friend" (haha just kidding), Taylor Stringham, forgot our epitaphs were due, so he hurried and wrote down whatever came to mind first, and this is what he came up with:

Is life worth it? Oh I spent my life in that factory Oh I hated that place Life was good before the factory came when I married my wife she told me she loved me but told her mother she did not then the day I got ill my temperature as high as the sun my wife didn't care for me then the day I was well once more I went to a mountainous place that's when I found my wife didn't care at last it was over.
-Taylor Stringham 2010
Attempt at an epitaph in Mrs. Anderson's 9th grade English class

I don't know about you, but I thought it was pretty hilarious. Anyhow, that's enough about ephitaphs for one day! :)

Life of An Irish Dancer

Well, I have had about ZIP time to write lately, so I am doing like 3 posts right now! TEE HEE! What can I say, I'm a busy girl, and the reason I'm so busy is what I'm about to write about. So let me fill you in: Being an Irish dancer requires dedication and desire to work hard and get the job done to perfection. The judges in irish dancing are more particular than you could possibly imagine. If your poodle socks aren't the same height, glued to your skin, or bright white, you lose points. If your skirt length is too long, short, wide, or tight, there goes some more points. If the top portion of your dress doesn't fit right, or isn't fancy enough, deduction. Your wig needs to have crisp curls, your bangs must be slicked back, your crown in position, and no fly away hairs. Your shoes must be tied right, with no bunny ears from the bows, and if they come off that's a major point loss, especially if it flies off while you're dancing and fatally hits someone in the audience or (even worse) the judge. And I haven't even gotten started on the dancing part yet. Posture and arms must be tight and remain position at all times. Your chin can't be too high or too low, must always be straight forward, no slumping your shoulders, back straight, and arms tight down at your sides. Your foot work must be so precise. If you miss a step, do it sloppily, or get off time, those are major portions of bad. Your make-up ideally must match your dress, and your number must always be visable, tied on tightly with a matching ribbon, or clasp around your waist. Kickpants under your dress must match, and be the right kind. Those are the basic requirements for solos.

Teams (figures) are more difficult in some area's and easier in other. Instead of focusing on complex steps in teams, you are focusing on unison and sharpness, dancing as one. Everything about every member of the team must match. The wigs, the socks, the shoes, the dresses, the kickpants, the crowns, and the dancing. The team that can make themselves most look and dance like a "single dancer" are most likely to win. Like in solos, your feet must be turned out and crossed. Leaps must be high, tight and fast. You must be graceful when you need to be graceful and attack when you need to attack. When wearing hardshoes, you must get all the tapping sounds down loud and clear. You must stretch your legs and move across the floor. You must be better than everyone else to win. You must be sharper, higher, most graceful, most exact, more crossed, louder, and tighter in everything you do. Only then can you win metals and trophies to advance to the next level and eventually become a champion and dance in World Championships around the world.

Here are links to videos of examples of solo and team irish dances:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Va83mW2t3yc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OraC81Mc1WA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5FEJAa-3aA&feature=PlayList&p=96D80290C894CDAD&playnext_from=PL&index=0&playnext=1